Day 1 - Friday 2nd September
Arrival
The boys finally arrive at the chosen venue of Newcastle having spent weeks and months discussing the finer points of the plan such as, where in the world has the loosest women. On early inspections it looks like we have struck gold, more tracksuits and piercings than a night out in a Liverpool bingo hall. Having checked in and met the most beautiful case of facial herpes I have ever seen (and this includes my recent visit to the clinic - Please note - Dan wrote this!!), I can confirm things are only on the up. The receptionist not only has a mild case of some nasty STD she is also a Dedrie Barlow look-a-like - some people are just blessed. Having checked into the borstel, I mean hotel, and given the key with a lump of of 6 by 4 attached to it I am told that if I piss myself I lose my deposit - well it's been a while but for just £30 of Alans - it suddenly seems like a bargain.
The room is a joy to behold, it's been some time since I've seen such interior design, even the changing rooms team have been out done by these guys, I am slightly puzzled how we can lose our deposit as it look s like someone has already trashed the place.
On to find the boys, they have holed up in a rather classy affair, well for Newcastle anyway. They look eager as I arrive so after the formalities have been exchanged it's straight on with the Sambucas - I'm pretty sure this is standard in this part of the world before lunch. Quick stop at Mc Ds and then off to golf. The golf begins relatively quietly gone are the days of Ricky's comedy outfits well other then the Von Dutch hat this year, but the days gone by of antique clubs are sadly missed.
Golf
So to the first tee and everyone seems relaxed, it's amazing what sambuca can do for a player ... after strolling back down the 18th everyone settles in the 19th clubhouse and a quick add up of the scores. Rich having not won today suddenly reminds everyone that usually we play for the title of BoBs champion over 2 days - good memory that Irish lad. So Alan having thought he is the unlucky sod who has to carry the excess baggage home with him has to fight on for another day. See the summary for the scores.
There were a few noticeable highlights and I'm not referring to eight laps hair (we'll get to that later). Alistair introduced a new theme to BoBs, he could actually play the game. A strange concept and I have a feeling it wont catch on. Ricky yet again struggled round but to be fair in Larry (aka my girlfriend won't let me go to stag do's because I went on one once and we went to a strip club and she freaked out and I'm never allowed out the house again) Grayson's absence he would always be struggling.
Evening
So back to the borstel for another quick glimpse in the latest stage of development of the facial herpes. A quick change for some while others called in their professional hairstylists (8 lap) and we were back out and on the town by around 8pm with the new addition to the team Mr Lacey. We headed for the Quayside where there was some suspicion that a restaurant hadn't been booked, how wrong can they be - having arrived at the pre-booked restaurant and taken our places a man appeared carrying what resembled a tray full of shots, followed by another tray and another and then an order for the stag of a Campari - you can't take him anywhere!!
We then went off to a bar that had been arranged by a local geordie, best not to go into too many details here only to say not the best but you have got to do what you have got to do!! Leave it!! Anyway on to the first of several clubs, the Attic or Apartment or something like that, luckily we had beaten the rush, this appeared to be the theme everywhere Friday night. Although on arrival we did spot some beauties, (see Pic 1 of the oldies but goldies), pay particular attention to just how yellow those teeth are and the roundness of the belly.
Pic 2 shows some slightly more impressive sights, the one in the white top remaining one of the best of the whole trip, unfortunately no one went near her as they left before we could get blown out. The night took in another few clubs 'Flares' being the highlight, the £2 entrance fee seemed to trouble one of our hostesses but once we sub'd her all was good. To describe this place is too much for the some of our best literary talents. Rich managed to get another pic of Ian and a local, (see Pic 3) - to which she declared 'what is this pet - grab a granny night' - I'm trying to work out what night isn't grab a granny night in Newcastle??!!
So Friday petered out after we finally made it into a half decent club named Blue something or other, Pic 4 shows some of the better sights on offer. Alistair flirted around with the guy in pic 5 - kept buying each other drinks or something like that, apparently they've been going steady for a few weeks now, so good luck to them!! Back to the borstel, some last minute room changes were needed to accommodate Ian's desire to sleep with Alan - with Dan doing all he could to help out.
Dan waits for Al to line up a shot.
Some people hadn't given up by the 18th!
It would seem the stag is very popular with the ladies!
Menu
Anything seen on this site could be a total lie and be completely made up by Mr. D Beaverstock.